Audrey and Chaos Kid Review... Little People Garage

My son got a "new" toy yesterday. By new I mean it's a hand-me-down from his cousins that he's had for a while, but he only rediscovered it yesterday. The toy is a Little People Garage...

... and we have rather different thoughts about it.

Chaos Kid

Wow! This is cool! It's just the right height to climb on.

Me

I wouldn't, honey. The whole reason I took it away last time was because you kept sitting on it and breaking off the ramp pieces.

Chaos Kid

It has a ramp!? Awesome!

Me

In fact the whole garage is structurally unsound. Were this a real garage it would never pass inspection. Not that there are too many five-story tall monsters roaming around stomping on garages, but the whole thing is frightfully unsafe.

Chaos Kid

And it has a car! Vroom vroom vroom. What happens if I put it on this ramp thing you were talking about...?

... No way! Did you see that, Mommy? It totally just went around that curve all. by. itself!

Me

Yes, honey, but it's actually supposed to go all the way down, not stop halfway there. The car probably doesn't have a good enough turning radius. In fact, were this to scale, I doubt any real car would do much better.

Chaos Kid

Wheee! Oh, it didn't go as far that time. Huh. I wonder why... Need more data! Vroooooom.

Me

Likely because there's a bit of a bump where the pieces fit together. Flat tire alert!

Chaos Kid

Raaaaaaaamp!

Me

Did you see the lift over here?

Chaos Kid

A lift! Mommy, why didn't you say so earlier!?

Me

Yikes! The car keeps falling backward out of it. That's a problem!

"Hello, I'd like to use your lift, please."

"Sign this waiver first."

"But this says I take all responsibility should my car spontaneously slide backward from a two-story height! What sort of operation are you running here?"

Not that the alternative is much better. I don't actually see any parking spaces in this garage, and the lower level doesn't even have access to the ramp.

Chaos Kid

Oh, look at these flat sections. Roll, roll, roll the car. Vaaaarooooooooom!

Me

Hold on, it has a gas pump. And is that a hose? It has a gas pump and a hose but no parking spaces? Some garage!

Chaos Kid

Wheeeeeeeee!

Me

Well, at least you're having fun.

Chaos Kid

What's that, Mommy? Too busy checking out the ramp again.

In Conclusion

This garage would make absolutely zero sense in the real world, but as a toy it sure is fun for a toddler.